True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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