Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize