He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
