doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think my fart just growled at me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
