Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You ruined the universe
Randomize