he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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