True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
