That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
