Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
