Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
