So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
