great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
