Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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