I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was so not down for the gang bang
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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