What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
