considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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