absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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