I hate your face
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
