windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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