this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
