I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
