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Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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