do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
