Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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