who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
40s are totally the cure
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
