I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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