I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
