i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
