I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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