she was so not down for the gang bang
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
