So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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