Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
