I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
