The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
