last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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