I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
