please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
