everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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