You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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