i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
