Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
