i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
