Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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