I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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