I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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