..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
