I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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