Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
