I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
