Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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