so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
