you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
