Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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