Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize