I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
wow bdsm is so cute
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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