Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
