big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
