I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
